Tickle Me Silly!

Knismolagnia , commonly known as tickling, can be a fun addition to your BDSM play.  Laughter in the dungeon can be a good thing, especially to heighten the energy and connection between your play partner and you. I love having a submissive restrained to my table then tickle and tease them , hearing their laughter throughout the space. Usually my own laughter at their predicament joins in. I leave my nails long specifically so I can get deep into the tender tickle areas on the body. There can be assumptions that tickling is a light activity to engage in, but quite the contrary. I have had subs hyperventilate from the excitement of a heavy tickling, even one pass out. In all play, one should cover possible physical limitations or concerns that may impact a scene. Tickling requires one to delve deeper back into  possible memories of the activity that might affect the scene. Many of us recall being tickling by siblings, parents or other persons in our childhood. For some, these memories can create triggers that need to be acknowledged and discussed PRIOR to engaging in a tickle scene. There should always be a prior discussion that includes emotional history with scenes. In my intake interviews for play, I always ask if someone is ticklish. If the answer is yes, I always ask a secondary question of how they react to it. For many, it is a hard limit and negative trigger. Others enjoy its cathartic benefits immensely. Before you reach to tickle someone, you should know how he or she might react to it. You do not want to disrespect boundaries just because of an assumption.

While any activity we engage in can cause an adverse reaction based on memories, it is much more likely with tickling because of our societal norm of engaging in it at young ages. Fortunately this pattern has been changing in current times..Tickling can be one of the earliest personal touches  we may receive from another human. Think on how often a baby has heard “Coochy coo” while being tickled lightly on feet, tummy or chin? Think back to your childhood. Can you remember an incidence of tickling? Perhaps a family relative or sibling? Neighborhood kids who either you tickled or you were tickled by? It can be a very traumatic experience especially if we were very young, or boundaries not respect due to familial/societal environment. So when approaching it as an adult play activity, it can cause those feelings to reoccur. For some, the tickling becomes  erotic, awakening the senses and providing an endorphin rush. For others, it can arise anger, fear or hurt. One needs to tread lightly when beginning this type of play.

 

Two paths a tickle scene can take: sensual or torturous. In tickling, the people being tickled (often referred to as ticklees,those administering are the ticklers) can allow themselves the release of total control. They do not have to think about the activity (in fact cognitive functioning drops when being tickled) nor generate or create the sensation. Just react and feel. This freedom is one big draw to tickling. If someone is new to tickling scenes, I suggest beginning with sensual. One can always heighten the intensity of tickling as scene progresses. Digging in hard right away without warning can send ticklee into negative space, cause an injury or get the tickler kicked or punched if the ticklee is not secured down or free to move around. Our initial reaction to being tickled is to move away from the sensation and/or push the tickler away. Ticklers must be aware of body position when tickling. Environment can cause injuries.If in a vanilla setting, look around to see what may cause injury if scene gets aggressive. Lamps, candles, table legs and tops, glassware, etc can all be a hazard. In a dungeon setting, same applies. When someone is on one of my equipment pieces, I need to make sure they can’t fall off or strain a muscle if tied down. I also want to make sure the restraining pieces are strong enough for heavy thrashing,otherwise injury can happen AND I may be replacing ripped/broken equipment. I’ve been bonked in the head before when a cuff got loose because of sub’s wiggling.

Psychologically , it can be an escape from stress, analytical thinking and responsibilities. High protocol slaves and submissives can place service aside for the moment and just breathe.If I am intensely tickling my slave, I can not be asking them highly cognitive questions at same time. Well I can for my amusement as the answers are sure to be amusing. If you are the D in the D/s relationship, you need to make sure your expectations of your sub during a tickle scene are realistic.  They may swear, yell, kick , thrash at you.  Discuss this beforehand so you both are on same page. it would be unethical to  punish a slave for a breech of protocol while being intensely tickled. Many people shut down part of cognition when engaged thusly. Poor taste to punish one because of that. For a more in depth psychological explanation, I suggest this Tickling Tips article.

Tickling is also one of those activities that we can engage in anywhere, any time and not generate unwarranted attention, if done in moderation and consensually. I can administer a light tickle to a sub’s neck while out to dinner. A small poke and wiggle with my fingers to their side while out. Ive even made submissives sit silently in a movie theater while i mercilessly tickle the side closest to me. Punishment if they squeal.  It does not require nudity or huge set-up and/or equipment. Within scene, it can be combined with pain to create a wonderfully intense reaction.The highs and lows of intensity are one thing that attracts me to tickling. I can have a sub’s senses heighten due to other sensation including pain, then administer a light tickle to a foot or stomach as I move around them. Keep in mind, this is not for everyone. I only engage this way with those I know and play with regularly. I would not desire to take a sub out of subspace and relaxation by an unwarranted tickle or touch. Psychology Today has a great article here about why we may like being tickled.

 

    How our bodies respond to being tickled:

• Endorphin rush

• Temperature change – Hot or Cold

• External senses dulled

• Analytical thinking temporarily ceases

• Heightened responses , possibly similar to fear

Rapid breathing

 

• Advice for body safety with tickling:
• You want to take into consideration where you will be tickling. Ask your ticklee where they are most ticklish, if there are any areas to avoid, how intense do they desire. Tickling can leave marks, scratches and bruises. If in a prodomme session, make sure sub is aware and consents to the possibility of marks. Otherwise , wear gloves or use implements to minimize mark risk.
• Learn the body’s erogenous zones.  I always tell my subs their entire body is my plaything so no area is off limits unless negotiated. Always respect limits.

Breathing is the key component to managing a tickling scene, both in how our bodies respond to it and possible complications.

Always have a safe word. Keep in mind, in a tickle scene ,the ticklee may not be able to speak coherently. Provide an alternative safe gesture such a a ball drop, toe wiggle, hand wave.

Main physical concerns when engaged in a tickle scene:

• Thrashing, Squirming : Sometimes the ticklee likes to fight against being tickled. It is a natural instinct to  move away from being tickled.The struggle can be part of the attraction.

• Strain or bruising of muscles; Thrashing around can possibly cause strain on muscles or bruising if the person is restrained tightly and fighting against them.

• Bruised  or scratched skin – make sure to discuss prior to tickling

• Hyper ventilation – lightheartedness even fainting may occur if the ticklee gets very excited. Watch their breathing and take a break if need. Help them refocus on slow, deep yoga breathes to return to normal state.

• Desensitization – I find with many types of sensation play, the nerve endings , skin and tissue mat become unresponsive to the administered sensation. It s the body;s way of telling you enough is enough. Discontinue the  sensation until a state of normalcy has returned.

           Three main types of tickling:

                         Soft : what we most associate with tickling, light touching, fur, brushes, feathers, light touches

                                                                                                           Hard : pressure points, acupressure, digging in

                                                                                                           Vibrational: vibrators, electricity, any thing that goes buzz!

 

                                                                                                                                                          Tickling to orgasm:

                                                         Denial-Ruined – I have used tickling to deny a sub an orgasm. Right before the moment of climax, I will tickle them thus redirecting the body sensations

 Heighten –  While sexual pressure is building, administer light or hard tickling touch to increase arousal. Apply then remove- a form of tickle edging. I do a hard tickle with my nails  right before climax. All the synapses are firing, giving one hell of a release.

Tickling as therapy:

Tickling can be very therapeutic, assisting us in solving childhood issues, learning to relax and disengaging our brains. It allows one to feel life in the now and not worry about tomorrow. However, it is nor should be a replacement for actual therapy.

                          An unexpected tickle in scene/sex can trigger bad/good memories that may halt activity and need to be discussed. The signals can be confusing within tickle scene as many ticklees will scream, cry, fight and try to escape. Make sure a clear safe word or gesture has been preset and all involved partners are aware of what it is.

 

                                                                                                                            Devious Devices

•        Your own body – nails, hair, breath
• Feathers in general

• Owl or Eagle feathers

• Fur
• Hairbrushes- anything with a bristle
• Vibratorrs
• Paint brushes

•                                                                                                                                                          Pot scrubbers

•                                                                                                                                                          Dental tools

•                                                                                                                                                   Fake flowers and shrubs

One of my favorite tickling site for tips is Tickling Tips. I particularly like the Games page.The endurance one is a favorite of mine. I challenge the ticklee to outlast my administrations.They receive a  Reward if do, punishment if fails!

I like adding sensory deprivation to a tickle scene. Removing another sense will heighten the tickling touch. Try a blindfold, hood or straitjacket if focusing on lower body. As mentioned before,        bondage can help keep ticklee in position and increase their enjoyment. I love binding the legs, leaving the feet vulnerable to my tickles.

Remember you can add humiliation or embarrassment  play in. Consensually delve into those past experiences and tickle memories. For those who want to experience tickling but  have yet to take the leap, consider combining it with their other kinks. Touch is the playground of adults. Have fun with it.

If you’re a ticklee who desires to be tickled, or a novice that would like to try it, fill out my session application.  I would love to create an intense ,fun tickle session between us. Both my Saint Louis and Chicago spaces are well equipped to keep you safe while we get our tickle on!