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Play: An Adult Concept

by | BDSM Education

“And in the playing of it(games), we come to know ourselves-and each other-more deeply.” ~Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Scion.

How many of you currently have your cell phones on? Or will be going upstairs to check your email? Learning to disengage from our electronic world is key to finding your bliss. We have all become too detached from human interaction, focusing much more so on our gadgets and toys. The conversation has become a lost art. Strolling slowly together reflecting on life is obsolete. Can you engage blissfully with a cell phone? And if so, what model because I want one? I cannot really snuggle up with my vibrator. My iPhone is cool but won’t let me cry on its shoulder when I need it. If you think about all the truly beautiful moments in life, you will find they occur within yourself or when engaging another warm being, human and otherwise. Sexual bliss takes on whatever form we desire as consenting adults.

Reconnecting with our inner child can enable us to relax and remember that joy we felt when young. Observe children playing, alone or together, and watch how intently they focus on their play, shutting out all distractions and useless white noise. They are so caught up in the moment, time slows down for them. Their concentration is focused solely on the task at hand. One common complaint that is heard as we age is “God, time goes so quickly now.” Does it truly go faster or is it us that does? Have we forgotten how to disengage and capture a moment? Play can be a way to slow time down and connect with the deeper energy in us all.

Think of the primary words we use to associate our actions: play and scene. According to Webster’s, play is an “exercise or activity for amusement or recreation.” The scene is an “area or sphere of activity.” By these very words, we are reaching back to a time when our imaginations were unencumbered by life’s stress and issues such as bills, career, getting laid, latest fashions or keeping up with the Jones. Hearken back to your childhood days of innocence, touch upon your imagination and free it from the self-imposed restraints of adult life. Allow your inner child to come out and explore the wonderful world of sexual play. Just think, we are grown-ups now and get to have orgasms! How much fun is that when added to play??? Cool, huh?

When your brain disengages from the mundane, creativity can come to the surface. Within our play, we can freely express all the silliness, fears and insecurities we may have. No one will judge you for desiring to be dressed up like a puppy or indulging your Lolita side. You can pretend to be younger than you currently are, donning the persona of that age. You can be whatever your imagination can come up with from a puppy to a robot. Dress up like a doll and have your puppet master move your strings!

Adults allow the possible judgments of peers to affect their relaxation and enjoyment in life. We make fun of those who dare to be different. But who are we to judge? Our kinks, interests and desires are just as valid as the next person. Truly, if you have the balls to dress up like a Wookie, no one should criticize you.

Sexual discovery cannot be rushed. It must be cultivated and allowed to manifest as it sees fit. The keys to this are two things: consent and respect. Each person involved must consent to the play and scene. But even more so, respect must be given for each one’s desires. If your partner has the courage to express their deepest needs and wants to you, have the courage to listen and understand best you can. One of my girls so wanted to try puppy play, an area neither of us had ever done. Watching the boy pups made her wiggle with excitement and want to join in the fun. She was afraid to ask me at first for fear I would laugh and reject her. And my own insecurities of the area might have lead to that result. But I listened to her desires respectfully, did my research on the activity and decided to put our foot in the water. Only to have it turn into one of my favorite fetishes and a passion of mine.

When your beautiful submissive is spread eagle suspended with needles before you, bliss is upon you. All the mundane melts away to this infinite moment. There is no one else but you and yours and the flowing energy between you. Reach for each other and allow yourselves the pleasure of delving deep into your own souls.

Through this game we all play, we delve deep inside ourselves. We lay our inner most desires out in the open to the raw world and those we entrust to reveal them to. It is not solely about sex, but about self-actualization through the sexual act. It is evanescent, so relish it while it’s there.