The Domme’s Primer for Male Submission

An A to Z synopsis of principles and activities surrounding the power dynamic of female domination & male submission.

Many of these definitions are focused towards the male submissive , however they apply to all genders and sexualities.

All these topics bear further exploration on their own but this primer is meant to introduce the reader to them. Further blog posts will define each concept deeper.

This primer is a living, breathing entity which will continue to expand and develop as new fetishes and kinks arise and the ones on this list grow.

Please keep in mind when reading this blog and my website, that my perspective comes from the female domination point of view.

Arousal and Denial: In regards to the male, denial is an excellent motivator. The promise or restriction of a possible orgasm will spur the strongest man to submission. Two components of these are edging and chastity – both which rate further exploration. Keeping him perpetually on edge increases his devotion to pleasing you above all else.

Ash tray Service: A sexy Mistress inhaling on a cigar or cigarette then engaging with her submissive as her ash receptacle personifies what many think of as ash tray service. However, just like other activities,it can range light to heavy. From having him kneel at your feet , holding a crystal ashtray while you blow smoke seductively into his face to something much more extreme and humiliating as making him consume your ashes(safely) – this type of service is as you desire.  Remember ,he is there to consensually serve as you wish.

Body Worship and/or Service: This is where The Mistress holds the real power. Your body is the ultimate
reward for the male. Controlling the sexual or body worship strings is where the Mistresses and women have the upper hand. Access to you is granted upon your desire alone. Male desire is secondary. It is time we as the dominant gender reclaim our pleasure. Only do and allow what you desire.

Butt Plugs: I will  write a whole paper on anal training with slaves  For all, it can be a wonderful device for sensation, humiliation and control. I love letting a male know I own all his orifices. Butt plugs are way to introduce anal training which can lead to full pegging/strap-on. Pegging  to me is very intimate, one I engage with my cherished subs that I own. The other way I enjoy it is with a sub that I want to ravage his holes. I usually combine pegging with dildo sucking on his knees with my hand on his head, forcing it deeper into his open and eager mouth. One of my favorite toy site for butt plugs is Mr. S Leather

CBT : Cock and ball torment, tease or torture- depending on the Mistress’s intent. One of my specialties.It encompasses any action that causes stimulation, pain or sensation to the male genitalia. There are separate blog posts about the elements involving CBT. See my page devoted to it.

CFNM: Clothed female, nude male. In our society, nudity is usually a sign of shame or
embarrassment. To require a male to be continually nude in your female presence  reminds him of your superiority over him. Historically , making a subservient male remove their clothing has been a method of intimidation, control and power.

Chastity: A device which should prohibit the  male arousal and orgasm. Orgasm control is one main kinks. I love the control. the male body does not deserve the release unless the female is satisfied first. Can also be mental chastity but that requires a much disciplined program from both parties and strong wills.  I have written many articles on the topic which will be posted on future blog posts. There are many companies for devices but 2 of my favorites are  steelwerks and holytrainer

Cock Rings: What I like to call the “hidden collar”. This is an excellent overt way of controlling and marking the male. They can be used for daily wear if comfortable [or not] and unobtrusive. Other types can enhance sexual arousal or pleasure for you both. Different than chastity devices. This site has a good variety.

Corporal Correction:  One of my favorite ways to correct poor male behavior. Traditionally this is administered as spankings over the knee, which is both humiliating and effective to keep him in line. Canes, hairbrushes and other implements may be used. Keep in mind , for some males this can be arousing to be over the Mistress’s lap. So if you find an erection rubbing your leg, consider cock punishment added to his correction.

Cuckoldry: Having your male watch you receive sexual pleasure from another person while he is denied such a privilege. It can include him serving the other person as a fluff-er, having him clean you up afterwards or just being allowed to be in the same room. If you so choose, he can be completely removed from the act and just told about it after the fact. Humiliation and service can be  components of this activity.

Emasculation: Any activity that assists the female in removing or lessening the masculine traits of her submissive. Can be achieved by other activities listed her such as forced feminization, humiliation or chastity. Can also include dehumanization, doll and robot play. Castration can be included under this activity , however i prefer to separate the concepts. Castration role play scenarios can be extreme. I never engage in active mutilation of my submissive.

Female Supremacy: The belief system that females are superior to males in all forms. There is whole Female Supremacy subculture within the female dominant community. Some good resources for it are : House of Sinn with my fellow Prodomme, Ezada Sinn  and the Female Led Manifesto 

Financial Control and FINDOM: Mistress holds the purse strings Financial Domination runs the gambit from  controlling the entire financial structure of your sub’s life to tribute only when you interact. Honesty and clarification of expectations is key in this type of play, or it can get messy. Princess Kali has some great information on Findom. Placing your male on an allowance , making him tribute a stipend or hand over his paycheck are all ways of financial control.

Forced Feminization: Cross dressing for the non-cross dresser.This topic is very diverse. I approach each feminization request by discovering the desires and motivation of each individual asking for this fetish.   If forced is the main component, I ask why. Is the drive for humiliation or embarrassment. Or could it be to take that first step into embracing their inner femininity. One must find out the mind of the ale before choosing an approach.  Many women find males dressed in slight feminine gear extremely erotic. Panties under the pants to work are a favorite of mine. A long discussion can be focused around gender fluidity and sexuality identity associated with cross-dressing. There are many good books written on the topic. Two of my favorites are  “Gender rebels” and “Skirting Gender“

Goddess Worship: An earth based form of female superiority. Stems from the ancient Earth religions were women were revered as the Mothers of All. I find this path to be very individualistic for each person involved. It can become akin to a spiritual journey. Goddesses are revered, worshipped, feared. What type of Goddess are you? Mother Earth? Kali? Artemis? Embody and empower yourself through goddess Worship. I will be publishing a blog on this soon.

My Goddess persona is Kali

House Hubbies: Recall Mr. Mom? That’s what this is. It can be a 24/7 thing or set for certain times such as week-ends, nights only or a trial month. It is basically role reversal. He takes on the typical feminine duties.I find it is key here for the Mistress to clearly define her expectations. It is hard work being a house wife or husband. Make sure what you require is clearly outline. I have all my expectations outlined in a house manual. it details my food preferences, what I require each day, laundry instruction and room by room cleaning details. You can’t get upset if you do not communicate your wishes.

Humiliation: Comes in many forms. Public, Verbal and physical are the three most common. Consent/ Non-consent should be key in all negotiations but particularly this area. One wrong word or action can trigger someone into a negative spiral , even dangerous. Do your homework before starting with humiliation. You want to do your best to avoid possible triggers.
Embarrassment is a wonderful tool to use where the male is considered,and my favorite.

Induced Orgasms: This refers to his masturbation under your guidance. You may place restrictions on it to suit whatever whim you desire. It is his goal to accomplish it. For example,
he will receive 57 strokes with the cane of his ass while masturbating. On stroke 57, he is to cum. If he fails, the process will be repeated until he does as you command. Get creative here.

Male Milking: You take the orgasm from him. He does not control it. Can use machines or make him do it. Ruined orgasm may be a component. Some of the common milking machines are Venus2000 and Serious Kit

Mounting: Male is bound and restrained while female uses him sexually. His sole use is to pleasure her.Not to be confused with Pegging-see below.

Nectar Ingestion: This can be one of the ultimate rewards for a male submissive. To drink the golden nectar from one’s Goddess can be both rewarding and humiliating depending on the submissive’s mind set. Direct from the Goddess or in a vessel – up to you.

Drink up, slave! Mistress Simone offers her golden nectar

Schedule Control: Placing limitations and requirements on his time. Assigning him tasks to complete, such as check-in times.This has become easier with social media. You define how much control is appropriate. Doing this can take much of the Mistress’s attention, so be sure you have the desire and time to engage in this type of control. It would be doing a disservice to both of you to promise and not follow through.

Shaving:Can be used as a tool for humiliation or emasculation. To remove a male’s hair from parts not normally bald is to remove part of his masculinity. By shaving his legs, you make him
more feminine.This is a great tool for distance control. Every time he looks or feels the shaved area, he will be reminded of his Domina.

Sissification: Sissy maids are their own special breed of submissives.Unlike humiliation aspects of forced feminization, sissification encompasses desire and love for all femininity. They want to feel pretty, and be told how pretty they are. Much detail and attention is required for engaging with sissification. Also, monetarily ,it can be a very expensive fetish.This site does some have delightful outfits!

Chicago Mistress and her pretty sissy slave

Smothering :Using your body to prevent his full breathing. Be careful.It is a form of controlled body worship. The goal here is not for him to pay homage to your person by for him to feel
engulfed within his Mistress’s aura and energy. Ass worship, face sitting all fall here.

Strap-ons also known as Pegging : Everyday should be International Women’s Day! Anal penetration for the male is a whole separate seminar. I believe Mother Nature knew exactly what she was doing when she put the male g-spot (prostate) in their asses! Taking your man as he traditionally would take you is a very empowering action. defining the control lines of the relationship.

Teasing: Using the vulnerability of the sub’s psyche in regards to your sexual prowess, sensuality and energy is a good skill for the Mistress to utilize at here discretion.

If you choose never to torment him teasingly with your sensual power, so be it.  Keep in mind, the male worships the feminine body and desires it. Use this to your advantage.

Trampling: The act of stepping on your male as he lies under your feet. Helps establish the fact that he is beneath you.Can be done in a variety of ways :Full or partial weight, bare feet, stockings, or shoes. Please take an instructional class either in-person or online before engaging in this activity. You can rupture internal organs of done wrong. I do offer trampling instruction. To inquire , please  email me.

Keep in mind this primer is ever evolving. I will add components as develop. Please feel free to offer topics or add-ons via  my email.

You may also inquire about a session or serving via my contact page.